Archive for April, 2009

I Fucking Hate Adobe

Wednesday, April 29th, 2009

Like most folks in their mid- to late-20s, I’ve at some point used copies of Adobe’s software that was not necessarily purchased legitimately.  I know, I know, you’re shocked and dismayed.  Over the past year, I’ve made a point to do two things: get legitimate licenses to every piece of software on my system AND not have any Adobe shit installed on my system.  I’ve succeeded with the first, and have succeeded as much as possible with the second.

Let’s get this out of the way: Adobe’s software used to be pretty fucking cool.  And in some ways, it still is.  I have wet dreams about running Photoshop 3.0.5 on an 8-core Nehalem Mac Pro with 32GB of RAM filled with Velociraptor drives and Quadro cards because that would be the best photo editing setup EVER MADE.  PS3 was quite simply the best mix of features, size, speed, and stability of any version of Photoshop I can remember.  Since that point, it has only gotten worse.  And since that point, Adobe’s licensing bullshit has gotten astronomically worse.

I’ll say that I work in a direct customer-facing position where my job is to support my employer’s products.  Because of the nature of the job, and the customers, it has become incumbent on myself and my coworkers to support EVERY OTHER COMPANY’S PRODUCTS if is can so much as be imagined to interface with my employer’s products.  I have the utter joy of explaining to a customer why their $1500 Creative Suite 2 installation won’t work properly on an Intel Mac and why Adobe’s activation scheme, much like WGA, forces them to reactivate the software with a phone call whenever they pass gas.  This happens ALL THE TIME.

Lots of examples of Adobe’s bullshit can be had here, here, here, and especially here.

They have my ass in a corner when it comes to Flash.  I keep that shit updated because, as is evidenced by their Acrobat dev team’s skill, they can’t keep it together when it comes to zero-day arbitrary code execution vulnerabilities.  However, since Flash is necessary to use most of the intartubes, I use the glorious free ClickToFlash plugin for Safari/WebKit. Coupled with Safari AdBlock (yeah, I know it’s funny since I have Google Adsense on this site anyways) my web browsing experience is much less likely to cause a seizure and only loads Adobe’s goddamned Flash plug-in when I want it to be loaded.

I currently use Pixelmator, VectorDesigner, ChocoFlop, Graphic Converter, Aperture, VueScan, and Raw Photo Processor to work with the various images in my day-to-day life.  And while that may give you readers pause, let me tell you, it’s absolutely great not having to think about what shit is going to go down on my system the next time I launch a CS program.  Coupled with the fact that it’s all legitimately purchased software, I feel like I’ve been liberated from the shackles of Adobe.  Much like Linux users are supposed to feel when they rid themselves of Microsoft, except I’m actually getting shit done on my operating system.

I’m no so naïve as to think that the world has no use for Adobe Creative Suite. I know that many folks would not be able to get their work done without the full fledged versions of Photoshop, Illustrator, and InDesign.  However, I’ll attest to being one happy motherfucker when I realize I don’t need their crap on my system any more. That, my friends, is a good feeling.

Posted in Adobe, Apple, Douchebaggery, Jackassery, Rants, Software, Technology | No Comments »

Notes From The “My MacBook is too fragile” Bullshit Pile

Saturday, April 18th, 2009

So, another dumbass, this one named Jeannine, decided to post on MyBiggestComplaint.com about how their MacBook was only dropped a few times:

My macbook screen cracked, too. It has been dropped a couple of times, but nothing major. I also have a PC laptop that has been through much more and it has no damage. I have read many, many complaints about the MacBook screens being very delicate. As much as I love my MacBook, I am really disappointed witht the quality of the shell and screen. To fix this, I have found it will be approximately $800 or more. If these MacBooks are going to have these problems, they really should be able to fix these for much less. I am having to decide between fixing it and paying that ridiculous amount, trying to fix it myself with on line tutorials and a screen purchased from e-bay or just buying a new Mac. If so many people are having these problems, why aren’t they being addressed by Mac?

Aside from the simple fact that Mac makes MAKEUP and Apple makes COMPUTERS you dumb bitch, I decided to reply on the page with this amazingly relevant piece:

After dropping my baby daughter a couple of times, nothing major, she has a bunch of medical problems and learning disabilities. I also have a son who was dropped WAY more often and he has no problems at all. As much as I love my daughter, I’m really disappointed with the quality of the female gender’s infant state. To fix this, I’ve found it will be thousands of dollars per month for medical care and supervision. If these babies are going to have these problems, they really should be able to be disposed of more easily. I am having to decide between putting up with her issues, spending that ridiculous amount of money on medical care, trying to fix her myself with tutorials from WebMD and Wikipedia, and putting her in a trash can and trying for another boy. If so many people are having these problems, why aren’t they being addressed by God?

Seriously people.  The way you treat your computers, when viewed in the context of the way you treat your infant children, is completely unacceptable.  Treat your computer as you would a newborn child and you will rarely have a problem with it.  Shit is unavoidable sometimes.  You could have a colicky baby and you could have a MacBook with a weird, intermittent fan problem.  But when you drop your child and he ends up sounding like Barney Frank later in life, don’t blame it on someone else!

When you drop your damn computer, shit is going to go wrong with it!  Back up your data, take it to a professional, and get it fixed as soon as possible.  Most of the time, if you pay for a repair of the damage and everything else is certified as A-OK, anything that goes wrong down the road is covered under whatever warranty you have left on the machine (assuming you don’t fuck up and drop it again.)  Try getting that guarantee out of your pediatrician!

Posted in Apple, Customer Service, Douchebaggery, Jackassery, Mac Stuff, Ramblings, Rants, Technology, WTF | No Comments »

The iPod Shuffle Costs Apple $22 to build. Stop Bitching and Build It Yourself

Tuesday, April 14th, 2009

I’m fucking tired of any douche pundit or supposed technology expert complaining about Apple marking up their music player that, according to someone who isn’t actually doing the work, cost Apple $22 in parts.  This, according to BusinessWeek’s info from iSuppli, doesn’t include manufacturing labor, R&D, marketing, IP licensing, and anything else aside from the shit in the box.

So why is everyone complaining about their favorite (or not) company charging so much for the iPod Shuffle?  If Apple doesn’t present the world with cupcakes and fucking sunshine every quarter, the stock tanks to shit and everyone is discussing how Apple is going to lose its place in the world’s music market.  How does Apple get to the top of profit margins in the industry? Gouging the hell out of you while making you enjoy the gouging every step of the way.  And I’m all for it.

Sure, the Shuffle takes a little bit of cash to build.  But do you enjoy it?  Did you think it was worth every penny you spent on it before you realized it was $22 in bits of Chinese garbage thrown together in a pretty machined aluminum case?  Of course you did. Only now that your wallet feels betrayed by the marketing machine of Cupertino will you feign dismay at their overcharging you for the music player you use at the gym to flash at someone, hoping to get their attention.

To anyone who is complaining: shut your mouth and build one yourself.  Asustek, or their spinoff company Pegatron, is making a killing assembling these things for Apple faster and better than any douche in the USA could do it for.  And if they could, would you really want to pay $275 for a union-built, certified by Al Gore zero-emission iPod Shuffle?  Not me.

(PS: I’m basing my Asustek assertion on the serial numbers I’ve seen of the new Shuffle.  Foxconn may be building them, too, but as far as I know, the “4H” serial prefix was designated to Asustek.)

Posted in Apple, Douchebaggery, Jackassery, Rants, Technology, iPod | No Comments »